Showered in Light

“My readers Paul and Sophie wrote to let me know they have patched together three Latin words to invent a term for a new concept: vomfiabone. They say it means ‘a curse that becomes a blessing.’ Here’s an example of the phenomenon at work in their lives: While driving home from work together, they experienced car trouble and had to pull over to the shoulder of the road, where they called a tow truck. Later they discovered that this annoying delay prevented them from getting caught in the middle of an accident just up ahead. Extrapolating from the current astrological omens, I’m guessing that you will experience at least one vomfiabone in the coming week, Leo.” —Rob Breszny’s Free Will Astrology

With every breath in my meditation, I felt my heart get lighter, as if I were floating, and some great burden is being lifted. Sitting on my floor, on a wooden block and a towel, was easy. My breath was easy, steady, like my heartbeat, each moment getting lighter, no longer held back.

I am setting myself free. I am letting go. I am becoming OK, I am becoming light in the middle space—not devestated, not dealing or coping, but not peaking on enlightenment, or seeking to attach myself to those high highs or those low lows.

And I am enough.

The community of yogis (and my community!) welcomed me home with open arms, literally and figuratively. In a wall-to-wall packed class last night, with low lights, all the way in the corner, my balance was challenged, having to find a drishti, a focal point on a blank wall hardly a foot in front of me. But somehow the steady breath of my neighbor, an acqauintance I’ve known since kindergarden, helped me focus and helped me balance. The reminders to find quiet, even among a heated, sweaty room of the swirling prana of 30 yogis, helped me move smoothly through the transitions. Just like the steady conversation with someone I consider a friend and a guide, before falling asleep, helped me ease my concerns, worries and fears.

The conversation ended in laughter. I almost fell asleep laughing, at the very least smiling.

What is most reassuring or comforting, though, is knowing that this support network—of incredibly strong, loving individuals—is with me no matter where I go. Many of them based in the Southeastern United States, yes, but many more are scattered across the globe, supporting me through their hearts, as evidenced in Argentina, with my sister and Fer, my family abroad; in Miami, with Jeff’s relaxed, welcoming sense of ease; in Atlanta, with Grace’s understanding, encouragement and kindness. And the support of so many people here, in my hometown of Chattanooga, is evident from a distance and up close. Like a soft pillow, a crash pad, a parachute landing.

This is what puts me at ease, reassures me, and allows my heart to take off, to fly and to spread its wings.

This nourishment is what enables me to give, to heal and to help.

I only hope to shower them with as much light as they have shined on me.

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