On Christmas Eve morning, alone on my yoga mat

I breathed into half king of the fishes and into pigeon, but they barely touched what hurts in my butt, where the blockages are from my practice and from life. 

I rolled, instead, my butt into the floor, legs raised almost in boat, arms on the floor behind me. It was excruciating. The noises that came out of my mouth surprised me, and even turned to sobs. 

This is my practice today. Thirty minutes of moving as slowly as possible and releasing the tension built up in my hips and glutes from practice, nervousness, running. 

In my meditation, the words clearly came to me in thinking about practice and life and teaching…

I am prepared.

And then this morning, with the Everybodyfields on in the background, I wept as I rolled out my butt. This time and attention and patience, though, is the only thing that will heal me. 

I am my only medicine. 
I am the only medicine…
…for the way I see the world, for what I bring to relationships and people and place, for a greater awareness of ourselves and the world around us. 

I am ready. 

I am prepared.


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