On the First Step to Surrendering and Small Gestures

Sometimes the smallest gestures reveal just how strong your support network is.

This morning, in my meditation, I started unlocking a door in my heart that has been shut for years. Afterwards, the words and tears flowed out of me for almost 45 minutes. The writing and the realization certainly marks a breakthrough, but there is so much more behind that door that I will explore, discover and unlock. And since I have to go to back to my regular weekday routine after a weekend of meditation and reflection for yoga teacher training, I had to pause.

I called my mom, and through my tears, expressed just a smidgen of what I was uncovering. It was a loving conversations, and I hope I communicated exactly what I needed to at the time. She listened, patiently, and appreciated me calling.

Eyes puffy, almost blown away at what came out of me this morning, I got in the shower and started getting ready for my day. Before I turned on the hairdryer, my housemate called me from the kitchenette.

“LJ?”

I pulled a robe on and walked out to our landing.

“I found this under the doormat when I was taking the compost out. I don’t really know what it is.”

LJ:

I am here to help you through your week, I have likely as much power as the Times Free Press horoscope, yet I am super cute. P.S. Please name me, at will.

Cortney went out to look where she found the note for something that the riddle was alluding to, but found nothing. I got dressed and went back out. After quickly looking around the porch, a little piece of pink caught my eye by the doormat. It was a tiny pink bunny figure, with a little yellow cape that had a green heart on it.

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Francis, my Monday morning inspiration

I smiled, and my heart filled up. My face and body broke out into a smile.

Even in times when you access some of the most raw, dark, deep spaces, the support is there, whether it’s in the support of a mother on the phone, a housemate over breakfast, or a tiny, pink bunny—who I will name Francis, after my grandmother, who I’ve thought of a lot since moving into the BikeHaus—and loving note…

You just have to surrender.

 

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One thought on “On the First Step to Surrendering and Small Gestures

  1. Another New Year And Another New Course | The Curse Of The Single Parent

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