On the First Step to Surrendering and Small Gestures

Sometimes the smallest gestures reveal just how strong your support network is.

This morning, in my meditation, I started unlocking a door in my heart that has been shut for years. Afterwards, the words and tears flowed out of me for almost 45 minutes. The writing and the realization certainly marks a breakthrough, but there is so much more behind that door that I will explore, discover and unlock. And since I have to go to back to my regular weekday routine after a weekend of meditation and reflection for yoga teacher training, I had to pause.

I called my mom, and through my tears, expressed just a smidgen of what I was uncovering. It was a loving conversations, and I hope I communicated exactly what I needed to at the time. She listened, patiently, and appreciated me calling.

Eyes puffy, almost blown away at what came out of me this morning, I got in the shower and started getting ready for my day. Before I turned on the hairdryer, my housemate called me from the kitchenette.


I pulled a robe on and walked out to our landing.

“I found this under the doormat when I was taking the compost out. I don’t really know what it is.”


I am here to help you through your week, I have likely as much power as the Times Free Press horoscope, yet I am super cute. P.S. Please name me, at will.

Cortney went out to look where she found the note for something that the riddle was alluding to, but found nothing. I got dressed and went back out. After quickly looking around the porch, a little piece of pink caught my eye by the doormat. It was a tiny pink bunny figure, with a little yellow cape that had a green heart on it.


Francis, my Monday morning inspiration

I smiled, and my heart filled up. My face and body broke out into a smile.

Even in times when you access some of the most raw, dark, deep spaces, the support is there, whether it’s in the support of a mother on the phone, a housemate over breakfast, or a tiny, pink bunny—who I will name Francis, after my grandmother, who I’ve thought of a lot since moving into the BikeHaus—and loving note…

You just have to surrender.



One thought on “On the First Step to Surrendering and Small Gestures

  1. Another New Year And Another New Course | The Curse Of The Single Parent

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