I died in Samadhi. But not without tracing, retracing, revisiting the previous limbs toward that state of meditation. Twelve tears flowed from my eyes at ishvarapranidhana—SURRENDERING—and not having to work, to muscle or to strain. I had started my practice with a core video, but the physical tightness and strain in my collarbone, shoulders and neck, from sleeping poorly, an intense Sunday practice and stress, felt bad. I dreaded the next 60 minutes. It’s been too long since I took a day off.
I died in Samadhi. I saw myself burning, in flames, right here on the floor, on my mat. My eyes were the only things not burning, and I was watching. Even that must not be Samadhi. Before Samadhi (Dhyana), I felt the softness, the overwhelming comfort in the pulse moving in and out of the energy in the middle. It was comforting, it was peaceful, and it felt amazing to reach that.
My mind is still, my heart not having quickened since the 30 minute meditation.
I need another day off, I need self healing, and I need rest. Take comfort, LJ, knowing that you can rest—you can be—right here.