Aside: Tuning in to My Heart: An Ambigous Post about Journaling

Last night I rolled up the hill home after a long day of yogi teacher training. My eyes were heavy and tired from the day. My housemate asked, somewhat sarcastically, if I wanted to go to Tremont Tavern. As I responded, “No, thank you,” I felt the exhaustion of the day settle in.

In spite of that fatigue, though, I’m always amazed at the energy I get when I get on my bike regardless of what I’ve been doing all day. I usually have just enough gusto and mental stamina to carry my body home, and after I settle down at home, that last bit of exertion serves as a perfect nightcap.

…then I started writing.

Jessica, the instructor, talked about going to the innerspace as we, a class of 30 yogis, moved forward on our journey to becoming teachers. Hell, I even wrote about it yesterday. I knew something would come bubbling up, something I couldn’t see, feel, perceive or predict.

As I reread my entry, I can see and feel the exhaustion in my words—I felt lonely and admitted to loneliness. I habitually fall into that loop and, while I can talk and write my way into positivity, I know, after 8 hours of sleep (NINE last night!!! WHOA!!!), that by loving myself fully and pursuing my interests and passions, I will attract exactly what I need.

And that’s that. I’m not going to rehash my slog of words from last night, except this part, which had its own page:

Hold your heart high, Laura Jane, and accept all that the universe has to give you. Keep giving, keep loving, and you will atttract all the good headed your way.

(It’s good to step out of the mind…and into the heart, where you can listen REALLY WELL.)

For the next seven months, I’m tuned in. Turned on. And listening. Cause I hear ya, heart, I hear ya…

So here I sit, ready to move foward on this journey, hydrated and happy, sweating already (and still curious about how much I sweat—I mean, jesus christ. Two cups of coffee, lots of water. Metabolism?).

I’m open, heart.

 

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